Of Demons and Youkai
by Inaho
Summary: The Sanzo-ikkou can handle blood-thirsty youkai, but what of their own demons?


Author: Inaho  
Warning: Spoilers of the past, but kind of general. Some inappropriate language, with the help of our lovely Sanzo.  
Disclaimer: Eh heh...Sanzo's already threatening to kill me for calling him "lovely", so I better not push it. I DON'T OWN GENSOMADEN SAIYUKI. There, can't say you didn't see it now!  
Feedback: You _will_ comment! _::tries for Sanzo/Aya/Heero glare...but fails miserably::_ Poot.

I finally got my lazy hands to start typing after all this time. For some reason, a blank Microsoft Word page intimidates me...

Elf #1: That's sad.

Shut up! Anyway, my first Saiyuki fic. Hopefully, it's not OOC or chalked full of mistakes. Eh.

~ ~ ~

"Some demons are harder to kill than others. Some may kill you instead." --- Inaho

~ ~ ~

It was dark.

Incredibly dark.

Fuck.

~ ~ ~

The first thing Hakkai noticed was the splitting headache he had. Almost subconsciously, he focused on his healing energy. Which never came. He tried harder, creating a smoky glow of where his hand must have been, only to have it disperse and fizzle, pitching him back into completely darkness. But the brief lighting, no matter how dim, revealed a little of his surroundings. And he could feel his breath catch from what he saw lay beyond the bars.

Wards. _Youkai_ wards.

And as if coming with a vengeance, his mind filled with the images of the thousand youkai he had slain. Bodies littered around him, soaking the earth with their blood. Faces frozen in fear when they realized Death was among them in the form of this brown-haired, green-eyed man, and there was no escape. And all this devastation, all this pain, all for one: Kanan.

Kanan...

~ ~ ~

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Sanzo couldn't take this darkness. This blindness. It pressed all around him, smoldering all his senses. Too dark to see. Too dark to hear. Too dark to smell. He could feel the ground beneath his feet, but it was so dark, he wasn't even sure THAT was real. And there was no way in hell he was going to lick something, so taste could go fuck itself.

His gun was still in its usual place, completely useless unless he was planning to shoot himself, which was looking better every second.

Fuck.

~ ~ ~

Gojyo decided he didn't like the dark.

Didn't like it at all.

He had tried to fill the silence by talking to himself, but it was like the dark drowned out all sound, absorbing his words. Leaving him to dwell in his own mind.

Maybe it was the lack of light, maybe it was the lack of noise, but his fractured thoughts led him to darker times. Before they were traveling to the West. Before he encountered that damned monk and dumb-ass monkey. Before he met Hakkai...

~ ~ ~

It was dark.

Beyond dark.

Pitch black could not describe this darkness. It was as if all the light had been sucked out, all the joy and happiness, gone, leaving this dismal darkness all around him. It was suffocating him worse than before. Before, he hadn't known Light, hadn't known Life. He had never seen the sun, felt its warmth. Until Sanzo came.

But the sun was gone, and he was back in this dark damnation of coldness. Back in this cell of loneliness, where nothing could penetrate the darkness. And this time, he wasn't sure if he'd survive.

He had seen the sun, and he couldn't live without it.

~ ~ ~

She had cried unshed tears. He had seen it in her eyes moments before the blade plunged into her body, and even after the Life had seeped away, the haunted look remained, imprinted in her face.

And he had felt nothing.

~ ~ ~

His master had sometimes taught him meditation in the dark. To focus on oneself, and not be distracted by the surroundings. And to ignore the pressing weight that darkness brought.

He snarled. Great good meditation had brought.

The body had been so bloody. He hadn't known that a human could hold so much blood. It was spilled all over, the Life of his master, spread in splashes of deep scarlet. And that Life had been brought upon him, settling in the form of the chakira, placed on his head to remind him everyday of the stain on his already heavy soul. The price that had been paid for him to become Sanzo, to be placed on that position by the gods.

If it wasn't dark, he was sure it would be raining.

~ ~ ~

He was often locked up in the closet by himself, especially when Nii wasn't around. His mother couldn't stand the sight of him; her tears never stopped flowing as long as he was able breath. He was a painful reminder of her tainted blood. A mistake. And no one wanted a mistake.

No one.

~ ~ ~

Alone.

He was so alone.

No light could reach this darkness. No breeze could pass through. No sound could be heard; the darkness was so deep. He was surrounding by nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Alone.

~ ~ ~

This is their punishment.

The final Judgment.

Souls laden with sin.

Tears of blood.

It's raining.

~ Owari ~

Author's Note: This was so not where I wanted the fic to go when I started. It was suppose to be more of an adventure. _::glares at her elves::_ What happened to Action?

Elf #1: Don't look at me. I handle Strange-ness.

Elf #3: ZzZz...

-.-;;; My Action elf is...sleeping...SLEEPING... _::walks away muttering about her lazy muses::_


End file.
